Well today was the last day of school before christmas break. The only reason I went today was because I've always enjoyed the last day of school before christmas break. But it was like any other day. My friends looked at me as a joke, they made fun of me, and some apologized to me, as if they would do anything to get me out of this state I'm. No one cares about my misery and honestly why should they? If I'm not going to do anything about it then why should they... Today was supposed to be a happy day for me. Last year I had everything in the world to lose. This year I have just about everything or everyone to lose. But for some reason this one remainder is causing me so much pain that I can't even focus on life itself. Around a year ago I made a few promises to some people and because of it this chain of promises will not be broken.

Oooowwwwww, mmmmmm my heeeaaaaad... I got elbowed in the head while volunteering to make someone better at self defense lol. So what if they didn't need help, what doesn't kill them makes them stronger :) and yet I'm the one that ended up hurt lol. Other than that, I've absolutely nothing interesting going on in my life haha. If I did my page wouldn't look so bleh. Wow I'm boring myself typing this lol and I can't even focus on it I'm having like wicked bad ADD here. Well before I start seeing sounds I'm gonna go take some ibuprofen and question why I just wrote this pointless post night!

It's been about two months... I apologize for my idleness. I guess it was because most of my life was just repeating itself in a cycle so there wasn't much reason for me to post anything. But now since my football season is almost over, I'm thinking more about what my next move is. After two years without playing hockey I decided that I haven't given up just yet. I have one year to train and get to where I need to be to tryout with confidence next year (senior year). Other than that, tomorrow in taekwondo I'm testing to get my blue belt. It surprises me because I started less than a year ago and have already advanced 4 belts. I'm not good at most things so I guess I'm not used to it. I'm going to try to get pictures of the test up sometime soon if I get any at all. But it is late so I'm going to stop typing now. I'll attempt to post more...

I'm so sick of trying to achieve happiness and my progress being thrown right in my face. I could tell you right now that I'm going to quit trying but that would be a lie. I should've stopped months but I guess I just don't know when to stop. Well I guess I'm stuck here until I die, no hope no will. Maybe false hope to break my heart later but as long as I'm happy for that short period of time. It's been proven to me by my peers that I can't do just about anything right. If I had it my way I would've left this place weeks ago. There is nothing in this world for me. Atleast I don't think there is. Oh well in the end I guess I'm the bad guy and forever after that. :'(

Well today I met up with some friends I haven't hung out with in a month or so. Didn't last long but I wasn't feeling well so it was best that I went home. Later on I had lifting tests and I had quite a turn out with my progression. My coach is proud which is a good feeling. I can't wait until school starts there are some friends that I miss so much. I hate how there are just some friends that I don't keep in touch with over the summer... Oh well I'll see them soon I hope. And boy do I hope.

Both my brother and I now have our purple belts in taekwondo. Though I only broke one board with a spinning back kick but it just goes to show I'm as good as I should be no better no worse. Thats not really what has been on my mind lately though. I've become fearful of my next few decisions brought on by the recent dreams and thoughts I've been having. At this point I have no regret of my past decisions because those decisions made me realize alot about myself. But now since I don't have anymore regret I don't know what to do next. I fear what I do next will just bring more. But other than that I couldn't ask for a better summer. And I'm glad my friends will always be there for me.

Got my license!!!!!

Finally after nearly 7 months I have my drivers license this morning. I was so nervous about the test because I'm pretty much the worst at parallel parking. But everything else went pretty good. I took my brother to get breakfast, and then I had to get a filling at the dentist. My mouth is so numb right now. It took 2 shots of novacaine (or however you spell it) to numb my lips. I don't have a lisp though which is a plus. Plus my pistol that I ordered came in today which made me even more happy. It's really heavy. I'll post a video of it soon. But now I must meet a friend to go for a drive. :D